Law Geeks Alert! Choice quotes from the South African Constitutional Court

Even those of you who aren't studying law can likely appreciate what we're about to throw down. Over the course of our time here, Christina and I (Laura) have had to read a number of South African Constitutional Court judgments for our Constitutional and Human Rights Litigation class. As is to be expected, we've come to recognize certain judges' styles and have discovered a common favorite: Sachs J. Why is he our favorite, you ask? Just read these quotes and tell me if YOU could keep a straight face if this was read out loud in court. Even the other judges appreciate his judgments. Case in point: he got a personal shout out from the majority in a 2001 Constitutional Court case where the J said, "I want to acknowledge the benefit and pleasure I derived from studying the dissent of my Colleague Sachs J before signing off this judgment." No doubt. Read on ...

1. "Section 9(2) [the affirmative action clause in the Constitution] should be seen as an integral and overacrching constitutional principle established by section 9, rather than as a discreet element within it that seves as an autonomous and sealed off launching-pad for State action. It would, in my view, do a disservice to section 9(2) to treat it as a fantastical constitutional device for leaping over the gritty hurdles of hard social reality and escaping from basic equality analysis. It is not a magic analytical slipper which, if no toes protrude, converts the wearer into a sovereign princess unrestrained by any notions of fairness and beyond the bounds of ordinary constitutional scrutiny."

That's right ladies. Don't go putting on crowns and glass open-toed slippers and jumping hurdles while trying to tell people what to do. Section 9(2) does NOT make you a constitutional princess.

2. "It is not the body of the argument which is different, but the manner in which it is clothed: should it wear the apparel of section 9(2), or shoudl it present itself in the dress of section 9(3)?"
Nice metaphor action.

3. "In a matter like the present it should accordingly not make any significant difference whether one starts one's analysis from the vantage point of those former disadvantaged, or of those who have been advantaged. Nor should there be a Chinese wall between the two."

A what wall?

4. "Thus, when resistance to the self-ordained sanctity of the brand comes in the form of satirical T-shirts, corporate reaction is as if a crucifix had been smashed in a monastery in the 14th century."

5. "The Constitution cannot oblige the dour to laugh. It can, however, prevent the cheerless from snuffing out the laughter of the blithe spirits among us. Indeed, if our society became completely solemn because of the exercise of state power at the behest of the worthy, not only would all irrelevant laughter be suppressed, but temperance considerations could end up placing beer-drinking itself in jeopardy."

Thank god someone on the Constitutional Court is looking to protect beer-drinking.