TOP TEN most coveted jobs in Durban, SA

We've noticed that they seem to be taking the term 'odd job' to a whole new level around here. To be fair, this is probably in part due to a noble effort to keep the rampant unemployment levels down to a somewhat-dull-roar. But in case any of you are thinking of a career change and (based on our fabulous blog, of course) are considering making Durban your home, we bring you a short description of ten of our favourite options so far:

1. Highway Sweeper: Must have agility with giant dried banana tree leaves.
2. Library book Liner-upper: Must have a good eye for straight lines. No rulers provided.
3. Middle of busy intersection clothes hanger and garbage bag Salesperson: Must be able to dodge oncoming traffic as you peddle your wares. Remember your motto: "You never know when someone driving their car will need clothes hangers or garbage bags on the way to work."
4. Human drive-thru-window Operators: Must be willing to walk up to each car in the drive thru line at McDonalds and physically take orders, deliver those orders to a person inside the restaurant, collect people's money and deliver that money to a different person inside the restaurant. No need to know that technology exists.
5. No-seat Driver: Must be able to stand annoyingly close to people's cars and direct perfectly good drivers out of huge spots when there is no traffic around for miles. Remember to remind the driver to pay you for this service as (believe it or not) some of them think your job is unnecessary.
6. Receptionist at UKZN Faculty of Law: Must be proficient at passing the buck and saying "I don't know, I don't do that" in at least 3 official languages.
7. Movie Info Line Operator: Human being that answers the phone when people call to find out movie times. We give them the choise of pressing 1 for "information" and 2 for "general inquiries". You must know the difference.
8. Music Categorizer/Clerk: Must be able to assist clients who are looking for music that is "Afrikaans/Gospel", "Male" or "Female". Must also be able to come up with other creative categories. Some recent successes have been "Human" and "Artists over 5 feet tall".
9. Turnstile Guard: Must be able to defeat the purpose of the turnstile by sitting and staring into space instead of monitoring who goes through.
10. Grocery store Clerk: Must direct people with confidence to either the Health & Beauty or Meat sections when they ask for tofu. Must have no idea what tofu is.